here's the thing

I think it was the Holy Spirit who enlightened me and gave me an answer. I was thinking that every time I have problems, I always run to him and ask for His help. Instead of questioning Him for the things that I've been through, I should have thanked Him. Coz if not of those trials, I wouldn't even think of Him and even remember. God is a jealous god, He wants us to always seek Him for everything and make Him the center of our lives.

the reason why

I remembered when I was a child that every time we have money problems, I just go to a corner and started to cry. During that moment I asked God why. Why of all people we suffer, why is it we're not rich, why is it that we cannot afford to buy even our basic needs. That questions continue until I was 19.

One night, I went home from school. Since my sisters were away for school, only my mom and I were left. When I got there, my mom wasn't home yet so I tried to entertain myself by watching tv but I felt bored and turn it off. I was experiencing a long silence when suddenly tears fell from my eyes. I felt loneliness in my heart, I just missed everyone and I felt all alone.

I looked up and I saw the cross hanged on the wall. More tears fell and for some reason God answered my whys.

sister for life

I have a younger sister and she is going to be fourth year in college. I would describe her as the most smart in our family, well she was a salutatorian during her high school days and got chances to compete and represent her school for quiz balls. She deserved the honors and privileges that she received because she worked hard for it and she is a very studious person. But despite the pressures of maintaining good grades, she manage to enjoy her college life and have fun.

why business?

After college, when I try to look for a job, I have discovered that I want to put my own business, I realized that i don't want to have a boss but myself only. And I know that a person will never get rich if that person will stay as an employee forever. Putting up a business is not that easy, you've got to have your own capital, have a thorough research regarding with what kind of business you want to establish and it takes a lot of confidence and hard work. You also have to know that business is like gambling, you have to take a lot of risks. But for now, I will work hard as an employee to earn my own capital.

My Goodbye

My friend just informed me that she will be leaving the country to work. I've known her for almost 8 years already and I know that this is one of her greatest dream, to work abroad. It's so sad that I wasn't able to see her during that time that she scheduled our meeting, I was busy and as much as I want to I cannot go. I don't know when she will leave but I will try my best to see her this week. I just want to say to my goodbye to her personally.

Who loves to learn?

I adore teachers but I don't like to be one of them. That's the reason why I never took that course. How ironic because for a year already I worked as a part time tutor in a tutorial center where teaching is all about. With my experience, I have discovered how tedious the work of a teacher is.But I know that being a teacher is a great privilege to impart to the students their knowledge and I know that they feel great when they know that their students learn so many things from them. I have a friend who is an education graduate,I was touched with what she said to me one time, that "she loves learning."

Just Give Me Hope

I woke up late in the morning and I received a sms that informing me that I will have an interview tomorrow. I was half surprised and half happy coz I remembered that I submitted my resume just last year and after how many months, they contacted me. It came up to me that yesterday I was frustrated but today I got something that I didn't expect. It seems like God is telling me that I should not lose hope. What a coincidence? because I went to church and attended a mass, and the priest's sermon is about hope. He said that never to lose hope. I realized that God is constantly reminding me to have faith and hope.

aim high

People asked me what I want to do, what kind of job I like or what do I want to become? These are questions that I even ask to myself too but you know what , the thing is I know exactly what I want, the problem is how am I going to make it happen. The main reason why I cannot pursue on doing the things that I enjoy most is that I don't have money. Yeah, they said that if you love it, go for it, but come on, money is a big factor to make it happen. Well, it doesn't mean that I won't continue to make my dreams come to reality because I won't let it happen.

the one that i misses

I miss my mom, it's hurting me that we are not staying together. What's really making me sad is the fact that my mom lives alone. How I wish I could be there so that she will not be lonely and have company. I know my mom misses us so much, and she's keeping herself busy so that she will forget how unhappy she is. I am also worried with her, she is already 53 and we all know that on this age different sickness arises. I just wish and pray that God will allow me to have her beside us so that we could take good care of her. And while waiting for the right time, I pray that He will protect and guide her.

today

I am somehow frustrated today. Me and my sister were doing some job hunting. We tried to walk in one of the busiest streets on the metro and found nothing. Actually, there were many jobs hiring but finding the right one for me was difficult. I am now becoming one of the many Filipinos who are having a hard time looking for a job. It was depressing because even if I'm a degree holder, it is not just enough. I don't know how and what I should do. Maybe I just have to believe and try more and more until I will succeed.

at young age

I saw "Kid Nation" for the first time, it is a reality show that is all about running a city by kids only. At first I was hesitant to watch the show, I don't think that it is entertaining, but later on I was having fun, I actually liked it.. It's funny how those kids act like adults, trying to resolve some situations and trying to make fair decisions. I was laughing to myself that these kids are trying to do things maturely. There were conflicts about respect, discipline and teamwork. I want to know what's the next step of their leaders to maintain and improve their city, I also want to know how their members going to accept their plans. Aside from the daily games which are pretty exciting, another thing that makes me like the show is the fact that children learned so many things from their experiences and I must admit that I learned as well. I admired the children that at such young age they were trying to do things for the betterment not for the few but for all of them, I realized there is something the kids have in which the adults have lost, that is despite the negative attitude a person has they don't want to just tell that person in his face what's wrong but they want that person to change and they are ready to help and support that person. Perhaps, that is a very important lesson that we adults must think about.

a companion

I need someone who I can be myself because I don't want to act like someone that I am not. I need someone who accepts me for who I am, liking not only my good side but understanding my flaws as well. I want to be with someone who can be there for me whenever I'm down and lonely and someone who could find me whenever I'm lost. I need someone who will be with me through thick and thin. I want someone whom I can share my happiness, thoughts, my dreams and aspirations, someone who is willing to listen to me even if we are old already. I need more than just a friend or a boyfriend. I need a companion whom I can share my life with.

the sad part

I was surfing on the net on an internet cafe, seated beside me was a lady with a young girl around 5 to 7 years of age. I noticed that the young girl was having a voice chat, and I accidentally overheard their conversation. I've learned that she was talking to her mom, and I thought that her mom is somewhere far. During the conversation I've heard that she was asking if when she could see her, based from her reactions, I thought that her mom said that it will never be soon. That time, I cannot help myself but to feel sad, because their situation is one in a million. I mean, it has actually become like a tradition here in our country that a member of a family will go abroad just to work there. It's just a sad thing to know that living here in the Philippines couldn't sustain an ordinary family. Some of us has to make sacrifice and be away from our loved ones for the sake of having a good life.

simple life

I miss those days when I woke up around 6 o'clock to prepare for school, that was before my college years; breakfast was already prepared, my uniform was ready and after eating we together with my siblings will go to school. My life before was so simple, my only focus was studies, and aside from that I don't have anything to think about. I am not obliged to do household chores and I can watch tv and sleep as long as I want. When I left for college, life became complicated, there's no one who could prepare the things for me, I'm the one managing my food, my home and school. But now, in less than 2 weeks, I will be on my own. But I guess I'm kinda used to that idea, I have been living alone for 4 years already. Wish me luck!!!

looks can be deceiving

I like to watch movies that is all about love. I easily get inspired and touched with their promises to their beloved. Every time I watch these movies, I keep on falling in love all over again. Usually, I got to like the leading man, especially if his good looking, sympathetic and romantic. Anyways movies are just movies, back to the reality, you can seldom find a man who has everything, if you do, you're lucky. Actually, I don't like cute guys, yeah they're handsome and so? Most cute guys are unfaithful, they collect many girls as long as they like and leave them whenever they want to.. If you want a real and lasting love, don't just look physically, you know looks can be deceiving.

biggest challenge

Days from now, I will graduate, after four years of hard work and some sleepless nights, I will finally reach the finish line. Well, my life doesn't just end it here, there is more to come after college. I know things will become more complicated than ever and bigger responsibilities will soon to follow. Challenges are inevitable, that is always part of us, I guess the only problem is how to handle them.